A letter to my (almost) 2 year old

My dearest not so little owlet:

Its been a while since I've written you a letter, but as we inch fly ever closer to your 2nd birthday, I felt it was time to write to you again.

I cannot believe how much you have grown and changed in the past year. Heck, I can't believe how much you've changed in the past 2 months! You are currently obsessed with cars, trucks and things that go. Your favorite sentence is "fire truck ladder help people buildings." You say it about a million times a day, even when there are no fire trucks to be seen. My favorite sentence that you say is "mama sing twinkle star song?" It was your first 5 word sentence and I couldn't believe that those words came out of your mouth so easily.

We read books everyday, you and I. You and Daddy read them daily too. Its lucky that your Mommy works at the library, because I bring so many different truck books home for you to read. Its because of these that you know that fire trucks have ladders to help people in buildings. It's also nice that Mommy brings home so many books, because some days we read through at least 20, other days we read the same 5 over and over again. Mommy has learned more about trucks than she ever thought possible.

You like to point out little things to me on our walks that you know I'll enjoy. We found moss growing in the crack in the sidewalk in front of our house, and now when we walk you tell me "mama sit down" and we examine the moss. We talk about how it's soft and the rocks are rough, and when you're done your examining, you tell us when it's time to move on. You are so inquisitive and observant!

I still check on you every night before I go to bed, I place my hand on your back to feel you breathing. The amount of love I have for you in that moment is exponential. Every single night I can't get over how lucky I am to have you in my life. The other night while I did that I remembered your very first night in the hospital. I woke up so. many. times to check on you. You were double swaddled because you wouldn't sleep otherwise and when I went to check to see if you were breathing, I couldn't feel your chest move because you took such little breaths and you were swaddled so tight! I was so sleep deprived I called out to your Daddy who reassured me that you were just fine. And you were. Of course.

My little chatterbox, my little truck lover, my little observer, I am so deeply thankful that you came into my life almost 2 years ago. You make my days brighter, my smiles bigger, my sense of joy and wonder deeper.

I love you so very, very much.

love,
Mommy

Happy 9 Months, Owlet!

My dearest owlet,

You turned 9 months old today. It is hard to believe how fast time has flown. I know I say that every month (and then I say that every month), but its totally true. You are growing up so. darn. fast!

Just a few short months ago you were just a wee little thing, barely even able to sit up on your own, let alone crawl.

look at how small you were! And how different!

But slowly, you started to grow and change. You started sitting up on your own, and got better with tummy time. Then you started rolling around everywhere you went.

And now, look out world, because you are crawling with a vengeance. It took you a while to get there, but once you got it boy, you got it. Within just a couple days of learning to crawl, you also learned how to move from a sit to a crawl, and mommy's life will really never be the same.

Of course I knew it would never be the same when you entered my world 9 months ago. It has been such an amazing journey so far, little owlet, and I look forward to the journey still yet to come. You are such an incredible little boy, and I love watching the little boy you are becoming. You are constantly exploring your world, even the things that we don't always want you to explore, like the cable box or the dog's water bowl.

But you're learning and growing every day, owlet. You are so fun, and I am so glad that you are in my life.


Happy 9 months birthday, my little man. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

A(nother) Letter to my Owlet.

Dearest owlet,

You turn a whopping 8 months old tomorrow. 8 months! I know I say it every month, but seriously, where does the time go? It is amazing how much you have grown and changed over the past 8 months. It's also amazing that you have been alive almost as long as you were in my tummy. Almost. But you were in there a long time, little owlet.

Sometimes I look at you and I am filled with awe that you are mine. That you came from me. That your Daddy and I get to love you and spend every day with you. How did we get so lucky? You are such a wonderful little boy. Today you were so giggly and laughing, it just warmed my heart so very, very much.

I know that sometimes I get a little cranky, like when you won't fall asleep. Or when you won't stop crying. Or when you scream your head off in a restaurant so that ev-er-y-one knows that you're there. But I hope you know that despite those few moments of crankiness, I love you more than I could ever say.

You do some pretty funny things right now, owlet. You don't crawl yet, so instead you log roll everywhere. I don't know how, despite your inability to crawl, you still manage to get into everything. You also do a crazy yoga pose when you're trying to get on your knees. It is adorable.

You're also talking up a storm lately. You've begun working on your "wah" sound, and you've got "mama" down pat, although I don't think you realize that it means me yet. You also love to say "babababababa" and you love to blow raspberries.

You also still don't have any teeth and your only hair forms a faux-hawk on the top of your head. But you love to eat, and you have started eating more and more things. You still don't like carrots though. What's up with that?

And did I mention that you still aren't sleeping through the night?

But no matter. You give me that big gummy smile and you laugh your wonderful laugh, and you melt my heart all over again.

I love you so much, owlet. I can't wait to see what's in store for us next month!

6 months already?!

My Dear Owlet,
You turn 6 months old today, at 10:08 pm, to be exact. It's hard to believe that on this day 6 months ago I was going through some pretty excruciating pain, and that I had been up for over 24 hours. Although when I look back on it now, it was all a blur, except when I finally got to see you and hold you. I remember that I was shaking after my c-section, I remember your daddy holding my hand and then getting to hold you almost right after you were born. I remember hearing your cry and being so happy and excited and exhausted. I remember your grandparents coming in and being so excited to see you, and I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was hold you, but that I couldn't stop shaking. When the nurse finally brought you to me, I was so happy. I couldn't believe it, here you were, my little guy. And you were so little!

You're not so little anymore. When I held you to rock you to sleep before, you fit from the top of my shoulder to my belly button. Now, your feet hit me somewhere around mid-thigh. Before, we had problems with you latching and eating enough, now you eat like a champ. You've started eating solid foods too, so far only cereal, which you didn't like at first; sweet potatoes, which you thought were pretty awesome; and peas, which I think you've grown to enjoy.

You are growing more and more everyday and exploring your world with intense fascination. You can pretty much sit up on your own, although sometimes you topple over, and despite my insistence that you wouldn't, you're starting to scoot around, on the back of your head, just like your daddy did. You love to stand up, with help, of course, but you'd much rather stand than sit or lay down. You sometimes roll from your tummy to your back, and you like to half roll over from your back to your tummy, and if no one else is watching, you'll roll over all the way. Your favorite thing to say right now is "babababa" and you say it all the time, except when you're showing us how loud you can yell. You're fascinated with the dog, and he makes you laugh and smile. Daddy makes you laugh and smile too, which makes mommy laugh and smile. You love when mommy does the "Hot dog dance" from Mickey Mouse club house, and you love sticking anything and everything in your mouth.

While you've grown and changed so much over the past 6 months, I know we've got so much more learning and growing and changing ahead of us. I can't wait to see what kind of adventures we get to go on together in this journey, as we both learn together. You've already taught me so much, and I love learning from you as you learn about your world.

Happy 6 month birthday Alexander.

Love,
Mommy

Happy 3 Months Alexander! (2 days late)

Alex turned 3 months the other day. I do not know where the time has gone. It quickly slipped away, I guess, during moments spent cuddling on the couch and snuggling in bed.

At 3 months Alex can:

-Support his head all on his own, although it is a little wobbly sometimes

-Roll over from tummy to back

-Push himself way up on his arms while on his tummy

-"talk" non-stop

Right now he loves:

-the ceiling light

-his animals mobile

-his hands

-sleeping on mommy

He does not like:

-naps

-his blue hat

-sleeping through the night

Happy Three Months Little Man! I love watching you grow and change and explore your world!

Love, Mommy

Cherish is the word I use to describe...

My little man is growing up so fast, and soon he won't be so little anymore. He'll be 3 whole months in just a few short days! He's already holding his head up like a real person now, and while it still has some of that bobble head effect, it's amazing to see how long he can hold it up and look all around.

He's totally noticing more things now too. He's still fascinated by his best friend the ceiling light though, and his next best friend appears to be the ceiling fan at his Grandma's house, but he's totally checking out his world more and more. Oh and his hands! Man, he sits and talks to his hands all morning. It is seriously the cutest thing ever, him just cooing away at his hands with drool pouring out of his mouth.

I am trying desperately to burn all of these tiny little moments into my memory. To cherish each little thing, like the way his head rests on my shoulder, and his tiny little contented sighs right before he falls asleep. Or his little legs kicking like crazy when we put him down on the changing table. And his baby smell. The way he sleeps on my shoulder with his mouth hanging open. Because I am coming to realize, that all too soon he will be crashing through our house, crawling onto and falling off of things and I will want to pull out my hair, while also trying desperately to remember all of those moments before he's off accomplishing some other amazing thing.

So tonight, as I rocked him and read him his bedtime story, I lingered just a little bit longer with him, studied his tiny little peach fuzz covered head, and burned another Baby Alex memory into my brain.

A letter to my little man

Dear Alexander,

I can't believe you are going to be 6 weeks old tomorrow. It seems like just yesterday we were even wondering if we'd have someone so wonderful in our lives, and here you are. Wiggly, smiley, alert and beginning to explore your world. You were completely worth waiting for, even though it would have been great if you had arrived on your due date, mostly because I haven't spent nearly enough time with you and it's almost time to go back to work.

I love seeing how much you grow and change everyday, how strong you're becoming, I know you'll be able to hold your head up on your own any day now, and soon you'll be crawling and then running. You're so big and strong, but I love that you still fit in the crook of my neck, and that you fall asleep there so easily. I want to remember forever what it feels like to have you sleeping there, and I'll try my hardest to remember, but I know, sadly, that some day I will forget that right now you can fit from my shoulder to my belly button (which you love to kick when you're unhappy.)

I know sometimes I get frazzled and frustrated when you cry, but it's only because I don't know what's wrong and I never want to see you hurt or in pain. I wish I could instantly make everything better for you, but it's hard when you can't tell me what's wrong and I have to guess, because a lot of the times it seems like I'm wrong. I look forward to the day when you can actually tell me what's wrong, and I hope you'll confide in me and tell me your problems. I can't promise that I can always make everything better, but I promise to try, and I promise to always listen.

You are such an amazing, wonderful little guy, and as much as I want you to stay little forever, I can't wait to see what kind of boy, and man, you'll become.

I love you.

---Mommy

growing up too fast

My little man is not even 2 months old yet and time is already going by too fast. He'll be 6 weeks on Friday. 6 WEEKS! Where on earth has the time gone? Everyone tells you "enjoy every moment, because it will be gone so quickly..." and boy were they right. He's smiling now. My little guy, and sometimes I think he laughs. He's alert and loves watching the dog, loves sleeping on my shoulder (often covering me in drool and spit-up),loves napping on the boppy on the couch, and I love nothing more than watching him. I'd love a little more sleep at night, or for him not to nurse for an hour in the middle of the night, but it means spending more time with my little guy, so I'll take it. I go back to work in a few weeks, thanks to him being 10 days late, and me starting my maternity leave too soon, and I am already dreading how much I'm going to miss him. Every day I think about being a SAHM (stay at home mom) but that thought quickly leaves when he screams for what feels like forever and I realize that there's no way we'd be able to afford it. I'm jealous of Phil who'll be home for 12 weeks once I go back, who'll get to see this little man develop even more of his personality, and I know that he'll cherish every moment he spends with him as much as I do now. He might not cherish the spit up and the sometimes REALLY messy diapers, but I'm sure he'll love watching him smile and laugh. And I'll love every minute with him once I get home.

I stole this song from another blog I've recently discovered (I have a new thing for mommy blogs) and it made me cry instantly. Big fat tears. Its from the perspective of the dad, but I don't care, it fits perfectly and I love it. I forget who it's by though. Some country singer I think.

I remember saying I don't care either way
Just as long as he or she is healthy I'm ok
Then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen
And said "You see that thing right there well you know what that means"

And I started wondering who he was going to be
And I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me
He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike to fast
End up every summer wearing something in a cast

He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street
He's gonna get in trouble oh he's gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

I can see him right now knees all skinned up
With a magnifying glass trying to melt a Tonka truck
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens
And heaven help him if he's anything like me

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast
Get a speeding ticket he'll pay for mowing grass
He's gonna get caught skipping class and be grounded for a week
He's gonna get in trouble we're gonna get in fights
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep

It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me

He's gonna love me and hate me along the way
Years are gonna fly by I already dread the day
He's gonna hug his momma, he's gonna shake my hand
He's gonna act like he cant wait to leave

But as he drives out he'll cry his eyes out
If he's anything like me there's worse folks to be like
Aw he'll be alright if he's anything like me

Happy One Month Birthday Alex!

My little man is one month old today. It is amazing how fast time goes once these little beings are finally out of your belly. 9 months seems like a decade, and then once they're finally here, time can't be slowed down enough. At one month, Alexander can: smile (although not really socially, but he smiles at me all the time, whether its gas or he's just happy to see me, I'll take it); sleeps about 5 hours at night in between feedings and makes "non-cry" sounds, his favorite is a contended "ahhhhh" as he's nursing.

Because of Alex, I have learned how do numerous things one handed. I can function on almost no sleep. As much as we struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning, we've fallen into quite a little groove with the whole nursing thing. Philip and I are that much closer, and I have seen his life changed too, the smile that I see on his face when he sees his son melts my heart. This little man has changed my life in countless ways, and I know that he will continue to do so as he grows up. Even though sometimes he cries for what feels like hours and I don't know why, and even though he pees on me, spits up on me and has some of the poopiest diapers in the world (and feels the need to start pooping as I'm changing his diaper....why does he do this??), I would not trade any of this for the world.

I just wish I could slow down time a little bit.