Sunday, October 24, 2010

the molding of lives

I was reading another blog the other day (one of my fav's---spilled milk, check it out!) And she posted something about how our babies don't mold to us, we mold to them. This has been sitting with me since late last night, and how true it rings for me, and how friends that don't currently have little ones of their own won't understand until it's their turn. The hubs and I were out with some friends the other night and they asked me about my social life (or current lack thereof). I mentioned that right now my life pretty much revolves around my little owlet. And as much as I would love to have some adult conversation during the day, I wouldn't have it any other way right now. This little man is my whole world, and I would do anything at all for him. My friends also asked about how I spend my day, and I said that I pretty much watch bad television all day, especially when I'm feeding this little guy. They asked me why I didn't try to do something like read a book, and I explained that I can't get too invested in anything, because as soon as I do someone is screaming bloody murder, and I have to drop everything to take care of his needs. And this is how it should be. I mean no disrespect to my friends, but the things I once enjoyed, such as curling up with a good book and a nice big cup of chai, have taken a very, very, very back burner to other things in my life. Not to mention the fact that my hands are usually full with a baby. Heck, the times I try to read a book to HIM are often interrupted with screams. (So far we've gotten through about 5 pages in Winnie-the-Pooh. I'm hoping by the time he's 1 we'll have managed to finish the whole thing. ) And let's be honest, half the time I'm not even able to make myself a decent lunch!

Everyone always says, "having a baby changes everything." And it doesn't change everything, it changes YOU. Physically (I can't fit into anything I wore pre-pregnancy, but that's a post for a different day), mentally and emotionally. I am not the same person I was before I had Alex, I am now a Mom. I worry more, I sleep less, and I love this little being more than I ever thought possible. I can't expect him to fit into my life the way it once was, I have to mold to him. My schedule now revolves around him, I have realized that I will never be on time for anything again, or at least not for the next several years. As much as I would love to finish my dinner, when he's hungry, he comes first. And as much as I would love to kick back and down several margaritas in one sitting, I know that this is also not possible. (sadly). No longer can I stay out until midnight and sleep in the next day. No longer can I run off to the store, because what used to take 5 minutes to get ready, now takes 45.

So, dear friends, I hope you'll continue to hang out with us, even though we will forever be late, and I will have a hard time looking anywhere but at my baby, and my topics of conversation will mostly revolve around how cute he is or how much he's learning and growing. I promise, when it's your turn, I'll understand when you do the same thing.

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