Tuesday, February 28, 2012


I have a heavy heart tonight. I've had a heavy heart a lot of nights, but I'm usually able to shrug it off after a little while. Put sad thoughts out of my mind. But tonight, they're rolling around quite a lot.

A fellow September mommy had a very sad, scary thing happen to her son the other day, when he had an accident and now has burns covering 30% of his body. This little guy is the owlet's age. I can't get this image out of my head. I'm not going to go into details about what happened, because I just can't.

Just like I can't get the image out of my mind of a little 15 month old who had drowned in his bathtub.

It's just not fair. My heart hurts for these wonderful little beings who have terrible things happen to them.

My heart hurts for the kid who was told by his dad at the library that he is "such a mess, and makes a mess wherever he goes." Kids remember this stuff. It becomes who they are, even if just for a little while.

I got out of doing therapy because I couldn't hear terrible stories from kids anymore. And instead I hear terrible stories ABOUT kids. I had to leave a facebook group because I couldn't handle any more sad stories about kids. It breaks my heart.

I was telling the hubs tonight that I wish I could walk around like most of the people on the earth do, only caring about myself. But I can't.

I wish I could take in all these little lovelies who have had bad things happen to them, and make them better, but I can't do that either.

The most I can do is love on my little owlet with every fiber of my being. Provide him with the knowledge that he is safe and oh so loved.

And cry for the little ones who are hurting, who have been hurt, or who no longer have to hurt anymore.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Letter to the Owlet

My Dearest little Owlet,
It is hard to believe that you are almost 18 months. You have grown up so fast! Sometimes, I look at you and wonder, "who is this amazing, adventurous little boy?" You are so fun right now. You're studying everything, and so curious. You take your time when you're in a new situation, books call this "slow to warm" but when you've warmed up, look out!

You know so much right now, even if you don't say much. Your favorite word right now is "No" and you say it to anything and everything, even if you actually want to do it. You're very silly. You also love to say "go" and you say it with the sweetest little Canadian accent. I have no idea where you got that from!

Right now you're fascinated with shapes, and you love your shape sorter. It used to make you really frustrated, but you're becoming quite the pro at it. I love that you keep trying, even when you do get mad, although sometimes you do get too frustrated to keep going, and that's ok. You'll get it soon enough, I know. You've also discovered toilet paper rolls, and an empty egg carton can be the coolest toys ever. You love taking lids off of things, and putting them back on. You are discovering your world right now, and I love watching you discover it.

I hope in the coming months and years that I can help you discover so much more. The smell of pine trees in the sun. The way mud feels between your toes. The feel of the breeze near the ocean on your face.

I love you, my sweet, amazing little boy. Thanks for helping me to see the wonder in the everyday.


Friday, February 24, 2012

Recommended Reading, part 2

I seriously LOVE working in a library. And I just got a promotion so that I can actually help people find books, which is awesome. The hard part of this is that people ask me for recommendations for books. Well, that's not really the hard part. The hard part is dealing with people who forget that I am also a person and that they can treat me like crap.

Anyway. I've been on a reading spree since Series 4 of Doctor Who ended, and series 5 has taken forever to come in for me at said library. So, here, in no particular order, are my suggestions for some new reads.

Gregor the Overlander, by Suzanne Collins. (yes, that Suzanne Collins). It's a kids's fantasy series, and it starts with this one. It started a little weird, I'm not going to lie. But it got a lot better. It's basically about a boy who ends up falling through this portal thing and ends up in a world underneath New York. He has to save his Dad, and he's with his baby sister, which provides both a sweet and sometimes humorous element.

Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline. Super fun sci-fi/fantasy novel. Technically it's called a "gamer novel" but you don't have to be into video games to dig it. There's also a TON of 80's references, which were super fun. It's got everything, really. Hero's journey, fighting against the system, and a love story, all in one. I really loved this book.

The Maze Runner and The Scorch Trials, by James Dashner. Books one and two of the Maze Runner trilogy. (I'm currently on book three. I'm not diggin it as much.) For those of you missing The Hunger Games, this series fills that void, somewhat. Another dystopian fantasy world, in the very distant future, there's a disease called The Flare that's affected almost everyone on the planet. While you don't get as attached to the main characters as you might have done with HG, it still has that same feeling. The best thing is that it grabs you on page one, and doesn't let go, until the end of book 2.

Maine by Courtney Sullivan. I started this book but haven't gotten very far in it. I think I'm too into the fantasy/sci-fi genre right now, and I couldn't really handle the family drama. But what I read of it was pretty good.

Sisters Grimm series, numbers 1 and 2 (and currently reading 3) by Michael Buckley. Fun, easy books (more kids chapter books) about the Sisters Grimm, descendants of the Brothers Grimm. Yes, those Brothers. It's fun to see the characters you already know (or think you know) in a different light.

The Writer's Tale, by Russell T. Davies. I have been reading this book every day on my lunch break for the past 6 weeks. It has taken me that long, and I'm only halfway through. This book is HUGE, and awesome. It is so cool to see RTD's process in writing Doctor Who. How he comes up with these insane names, like Raxicoricofallapatorius. Actually, he hasn't talked about that. They're just sort of...there. But it's cool. It's really cool. Plus, pictures of David Tennant. Hello! awesome already.

One for the Money, by Janet Evanovich. I took a dabble in the mystery realm, because it's one of the areas where I feel like I really lack. I enjoyed this book, although there were certain parts that were REALLY hard for me to read. But it was fun. I wouldn't mind reading another one of hers, although I've heard that after a while they become pretty similar, but we'll see.

So, I think that's all for now. I have 4 books currently checked out which I have yet to start, so I'll be updating ya'll again soon on more recommendations.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Project Life

You guys? I have discovered something Ah-may-zing. It is called Project Life, and it has changed mine. (that sounds cheesy and totally made up, but whatevs.)

So I was wasting time on Pinterest the other day, and I saw these pins on various people's scrapbooking pages that talked about Project Life. So I Googled it, and I immediately liked what I saw. It's like scrapbooking, without scrapbooking. Well, no, that's not right. It's like when I was in Jr High and used to collect newspaper clippings of band, or cards from crushes, or notes, or whatever. But with pictures thrown in. (I guess I did have some pictures in my "scrapbook.")

I was so excited when this little box arrived!
I've never been super crafty. I like to pretend I am. I like to try things, but the things I create NEVER turn out the way I have them pictured in my head. But this? This can be anything you want. You can add bibbles and baubles and fun little embellishments. Or not. It doesn't matter. The other thing I like? You can focus on what you want to focus on. If you want to have 30 pictures of one event, you can. It's not like with "regular" scrapbooking where you basically have one or two pictures surrounded by a bunch of stuff. (I realize I might be offending some regular 'scrappers here, but, I've just always had a problem with it. I think, honestly, I don't have the eye for it. I don't know what stickers or buttons or flowers to put with what, let alone where. I mean no offense, I promise.)
This is what was inside. A lot of the bigger cards are missing, because they're already in my book. But all those little boxes ALSO have journaling cards in them too! There's so much stuff in there!

Anyway. I'm LOVING this system. I ended up buying just the journaling cards from the Becky Higgins site, because everything else was sold out. (Most of the stuff should be back mid-month, FYI). Right, I probably should have mentioned that. The best thing about this is that it's lots of journaling with the pictures. Or little journaling. Or mostly journaling with minimal pictures. Some people are doing the 365 photo thing, and using it that way. I'm sure there's other slacker moms like me who've realized they've done NOTHING by the way of a baby book and are realizing that if they don't get on it RIGHT. NOW. That they will forget everything. So that's how I'm using it now. I'm thinking that after the owlet turns 2, we'll do the 365 thing. Or we won't. Maybe we'll focus on taking 7 pictures a week. Regardless, this system is helping me remember what the owlet was like when he was a wee thing, and taking more pictures of the here and now.

These are some of my pages so far. I'm putting in a bunch of stuff that was going to go in his baby book, because I think this is going to serve as his baby book and his photo album. I've been working on it every night, and it's really coming together.

But seriously? Thank goodness for facebook and this ol' blog here. Because some of the details about the past year and a half are just a smidge fuzzy.

Friday, February 3, 2012


I've been doing a lot of reading lately, mostly non parenting books, but I did pick up a couple at the library the other day about Positive Discipline, and Disciplining from an Attachment Style. So far I've really been digging The Discipline Book, by Dr. Sears, basically the guru on all things attachment style parenting.

I've always known that I was going to raise the owlet in the attachment style, as a former school based therapist and Naropan, it was really the only thing that made sense. But people and naysayers tried to get me to move away from that, especially when the owlet was still a newborn. People asked me why he wasn't sleeping through the night, and suggested that I tried Cry It Out, which we did, with no success, and with great suffering on my part.

(as a side note, Sears mentions that if you try this, as a last resort, or because it's what's been spouted to you and you feel like it's not for you...then it's not for you. Hmmm. Brilliant.)

Going back to what the hubs and I knew was right for us, although it took quite a bit longer with the owlet, actually worked. The owlet now sleeps from about 6:30pm to about 6:30am. Amazing, right? He also naps in his own crib, which means I can enjoy watching tv or blogging or whatever while he naps, without worrying about being too noisy and tip-toeing around.

What did we do, you ask? We listened to our guts and what we knew was right for our child and our situation. We still sit in his room while he falls asleep, both for naps and for bedtime. We shush him, from across the room, if needed. We let him know that we are there, that we care for him, and that we want him to be happy. If he wakes in the middle of the night, I go in to find out what's wrong. For a couple weeks he was waking up around 3am, like clockwork. For a couple nights, I sat in his room, next to his crib, waiting for him to fall asleep. But I was miserable. I was cold, uncomfortable and just wanted to sleep. So, I gave in and he came to bed with me, and we both slept until about 6ish. I don't know what changed, but he doesn't need that anymore. Maybe it was his way of reconnecting with me. He got his cuddles in, and realized that sleeping by himself was ok, so now he doesn't wake up anymore.

Lately, thanks to the Discipline Book, (and also thanks to getting a good night sleep again), I have been a much happier mommy, and a mommy who is more able to spend time actually enjoying my child. I spend time on the floor with him in the afternoons, letting him know I'm there for him, and there with him, instead of just sitting on the couch, letting him come to me with books.

I've noticed a change in him when I do this. He doesn't need to be told not to touch the tv as much, because he's getting the attention he wants in a good way, instead of in a bad way. He's fun. He smiles more (I didn't even think that was possible, but it is). He seems, calmer, somehow.

This isn't to say that before he was running around like a crazy, knife-weilding toddler. He has always been pretty great. But I've definitely noticed a shift in him. And, in myself. Getting enough sleep, working fewer hours, stressing less, has made me be able to not just run on survival mode anymore.

And it. Feels. Fabulous.

I think I just needed this book to say to me, "hey, you know all that stuff that you know about how to raise a happy, healthy, successful kid? All that stuff you used to tell the parents you worked with that they needed to do? Yeah, you need to do that. Because it's right, and you know it. And you're getting enough sleep now, and you're happier now, so, what's stopping you?"