I'm not going to lie. I want to be the one to meet my owlet's every need. Is it great that the hubs finally got him to sleep? Of course. Do I feel like it should have been me to finally lull my precious one to sleep? You betcha. I feel like I failed my son. I couldn't do whatever it was that he needed done. Some tiny little thing, out of all the things we did tonight, and he's finally asleep. Although he's been "finally asleep" several times tonight, all of which lasted about 10 minutes.
I think part of my frustration comes from worry. Worry that something's wrong with Alex. Worry that as a first time mom, I'm going to mess something up. Worry about how I'm supposed to do this tomorrow night when the hubs is back to work and I'm here by myself with a screaming baby.
I learned tonight that I cannot just let him cry it out. The sound of him screaming from his crib makes me sick to my stomach. I want to do everything I can to make him stop, to soothe him.
Except, apparently, sometimes, there's nothing I can do.