Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The greatest gift of all

With Christmas just a few days away, I am stopping tonight to reflect amidst the hustle and bustle of the rush up to Christmas on the greatest gift that I could ever have hoped for: my Alexander. It's crazy to think that this time last year I was doubting that we would ever have such joy in our lives, after trying unsuccessfully for many, many months to get pregnant. (Little did I know that the little owlet was actually already brewing in my belly!)

At a mere 3 months and 1 week old, there are times he frustrates me; times I want to just sit there and cry with him (and times that I have done just that) and times that I want to just let him cry it out because I can't believe he's crying again already after I just put him down to sleep. (You don't have to tell me that it only gets worse/harder/more frustrating from here. I already know.) But more often than not, Alexander is a wonderful, loving, happy little guy, who makes me happy just being around him.

I've started doing this thing in the middle of the night when I'm frustrated that he's woken me up already. I find the little things that he does that are so endearing, and I hold on to those. Like the way his hands move constantly but ever so gently as he eats. Or the way he stretches just like me. Or the times he stops eating and smiles at me for just a second. These tiny little things help that frustration melt away. Because really, how could they not?

I'm really trying every day to hold on to these tiny little moments: the way he coos and talks to himself in the car, the way he talks to us in his high chair at the dinner table, our bedtime rituals, the way he studies his hands for hours. These things are the greatest gift to me right now, because Alexander is the greatest gift I could have ever hoped for.

I know its a few days early, but Merry Christmas my little owlet. I can't wait to enjoy our first Christmas together.

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