So said the text to the hubs last night when my little owlet decided that the only place he wanted to sleep was next to me. And when I say next to, I mean ON. What have I done? For the past several weeks we've been co-sleeping, partly because it took him forever to fall asleep after his middle of the night feedings, and I was far too tired to sit there and hold him until he fell in a deep enough sleep, so I started letting him just sleep on me, because at least that way we both got some sleep.
Cut to a week later, and him sleeping on me in the middle of the night has turned into 10:00. He'll go down fine in the pack-n-play in our room for about an hour around 8:00. But then he wakes up SCREAMING like we're murdering him or something. Is he cold? I don't know. Is he hungry? Maybe. Is he annoying the crap out of me? YES. It's also incredibly frustrating because I just don't know what's wrong. So I nurse him and he falls asleep again. Back in the pack-n-play he goes, for another 10 minutes, if we're lucky. By this point the hubs has to leave for work and I'm exhausted and just can't stand it anymore, so into bed with me he goes.
Lately he's been sleeping next to me rather than on me, but he has to be touching me or all hell breaks loose. Seriously. Last night I tried to set him down on the bed NOT touching me and good lord, that kid has a set of lungs on him. I swear one of these days the neighbors are going to call the police, the way that kid screams.
So, what have I done? Have I doomed us to him sleeping with us forever? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love having him next to me, especially since I don't get to see him all day. But I don't love that he totally spazzes in the middle of the night, kicking me in the stomach (thanks Alex, but you did that enough when you were in my belly), grabbing me in the face and generally making it difficult to get a decent night's sleep. I guess really, for now it's the lesser of two evils, because at least when he's in bed with me I get more sleep than I would if I just sat up waiting for him to fall asleep, only to have to get up and hold him 20 minutes later when he realizes he's not with me anymore.
But really, is he going to be 15 and still sleeping in mommy's bed? I'm all for him being securely attached to me, but that might be a little much.