Thursday, January 6, 2011

what a difference a year makes!

Its so funny when I think back on how much has changed in a year. This time last year I was sitting with a secret so big I thought I might burst. We found out I was pregnant on the 28th of December, (and again on the 30th because I didn't believe the first pregnancy test) which made New Year's a little tricky... "you're not drinking? How come?" (Made me feel like I had a little bit of a problem when everyone was surprised that I wasn't partaking in the consumption of alcohol, but whatevs.)

For much of January I felt like the cat who swallowed the canary. Walking around with this enormous secret, bursting to tell people but wanting to wait until we knew for certain we were in the clear. Of course, some people we told right away, but with most everyone else we waited until 13 weeks. It's crazy to think back to where I was a year ago, with a tiny little being probably no bigger than a poppy seed in my belly, and now, my little owlet is ginormous (or so it seems to me),

I remember the worries about if I would lose the pregnancy, if all the tests would come back OK, if it would be a boy when what I really wanted (at the time) was a girl, how we were going to afford this little being. But I also remember the excitement, the anticipation, the hopes, dreams and aspirations I had for this tiny little person who wasn't even in the world yet.

And now, a year later, I am ecstatic that my little owlet is a boy. I love him more than I will ever be able to express. I still have worries about him, but they are of a different kind than they were when he was in my tummy. I still worry about the money, but what parent doesn't? And of course, I'm still filled with hopes, dreams and aspirations for him.

It's funny now that I'm looking back on last year, while at the same time I'm looking forward to this time next year. Alex's first Christmas has come and gone. He spent most of it being fussy and not realizing what was happening, I tried to get him to help me open presents but I don't really think he was having it, (but what do you expect from a 3 1/2 month old?) Next year I'm sure he'll be a little more into it, and the hubs and I will be trying hard to stay sane while chasing after a toddler, hoping he doesn't knock the tree over or break every ornament.

By this time next year...well, I don't know what this time next year will bring, other than more memories with my owlet and the hubs. I hope to have a new job, one that will allow me to stay home more often. I hope to have moved into a bigger place, with more space for the little man to move and crawl and eventually run around in. And I hope to have a million more memories that I can reflect on this time next year.

No comments:

Post a Comment