Tuesday, April 19, 2011

An Unwelcome Guest

A visitor came to our house tonight, one that I know will come back again and again, but one that I never want to have to deal with. The guest? Fear.

During the owlet's bath tonight, he flipped over off of his little sling thing into the tub. At first he just sort of pushed himself up, and then he coughed and kicked and sputtered, and I grabbed him and patted his back and managed to hold it together so that he wouldn't freak out, even though inside I was freaking out.

It all happened so fast, one second he was sort of leaning, the next second he's coughing and sitting up in my arms. It scares me to no end to think about what would have happened if I hadn't been right there. If something had gotten my attention, like the dog tried to do last night during bath time. It made me think about all the things that I WON'T be there to protect him from. Things that are years and years away yet nonetheless drive a fear in me that makes me want to rethink that whole bubble boy idea.

I want to protect him from every possible harm. I know that I can't. I guess all that I can do is prepare him for what might come, and hope that I've done my best.

But for now? We're going to sign up for Infant Aquatics.

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