Thursday, April 7, 2011

I have problems

The owlet is going to start speaking soon. Like anyday now, right? Ok, not really since he's barely 7 months. But soon, he will start parroting everything the hubs and I say. Which is a bad thing. Because I do not always say such good things. Or say things the right way. I will be the parent at parent teacher conferences burying my head in my hands when the owlet's teacher tells me that she is worried about his speech because he says things like "choose" instead of "shoes."

Other things I say that are wrong (or inappropriate):

"Diagonalley" instead of, obvs, diagonally. (Like in Harry Potter and the Chamber, when he takes the floo powder and says Diagon Alley too quickly and it comes out like that.) ((I should also add that I can relate most anything back to Harry Potter. This may also turn out to be a problem in the future.))
"shicken." pretty self-explanatory, no?
"Where the cuss is my cussing coat?" Said in a perfect british accent, and taken from one of my most favorite movies ever. Except I don't say cuss, I say the actual words. Maybe I should start saying cuss?
"peekza." also self-explanatory. right? ok. it's pizza.

For some reason my mind is blanking, but I know there's more. Add to the fact that I also occasionally slip back into a Boston accent, and this poor kid is just going to have a rough start.

I have also discovered that I talk about myself in the 3rd person too much when I talk to him. "Mommy will be right back." "Mommy is going to make you some peaches." "Mommy really needs you to go to sleep now or she is going to rip out her hair." I know this is pretty common (it IS common, right?) the problem comes when I almost slip into this same talk when talking to my clients. Today one of my client says, "hey, who painted that picture?" And I almost said, in that higher pitched "parentese" that all parents seems to slip into, "mommy painted that picture!" It happened about a trillion more times that session. (or 5. But who's counting?) Either way, not cool.

So, dear owlet. I am sorry, already. That your daddy and I probably swear more than we should (sorry parents, we do.) And that I can relate everything to Harry Potter or the Gilmore Girls or Friends, and that your daddy has seen every single episode of The Simpsons, and can reference it at will. And that we say the wrong words all the time. But we love you, and we won't make fun of you when you say things wrong. Although you need to learn right now that it's "aUnts, not ants." Mommy's from New England, and that's how we say it. People will probably look at you like you're crazy, but when they do you can tell them that your aUnts are not bugs. :)

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